Kids are amazing to watch. After being told, “no more cookies,” three times, I’ve watched my son ask for another cookie and ultimately get another. No, we’re not soft. It was actually a reassessment after my son’s persistence and a realization that, under the circumstances, there’s no particular reason why he specifically shouldn’t have a cookie.But let’s look at this from my son’s perspective. He kept asking. Why did he keep asking? First, he probably wasn’t happy with the previous answer. Second, he’s not yet in tune with the societal associations of “looking foolish”, “being needy”, or “rejection”. He doesn’t connect with all of that. He cares about getting the cookie. To him, it’s that simple.
As we “grow up”, we tend to become more perceptive of the stigma associated with asking questions. In fact, in some people, it actually evolves into a fear of asking. Eventually, these folks don’t ask for what they need. In essence, they create and receive rejection completely independent of another person. They say no to themselves. There is little else more negative and debilitating than that.
Jack Canfield, a friend and mentor of mine, in his book, The Success Principles, suggests 5 ways to ask for what you want.
He suggests that there is a specific science to asking for and getting what you want or need in life. These are some quick tips:
- Ask as if you expect to get it rather than expecting that you wont. Tone and posture can set the stage in a significant way.
- Assume you can. Don’t assuming against yourself. It’s certainly a choice and it’s far more positive to assume you can!
- Ask someone who can give it to you. Qualify the person. “Who is authorized to make a decision about…”
- Be clear and specific. Vague requests produce vague results.
- Ask repeatedly. Be persistent. There’s going to be a lot of rejection in life. Don’t give up.
“To be successful, you have to take risks, and one of the risks is the willingness to risk rejection.” – Jack Canfield
You certainly will never get that which you never ask for. In fact, a Notre Dame University study showed a 60% success rate after 94% of the study’s salespeople have already quit asking. So don’t create a fear of rejection. Be persistent. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. As my son has figured out, keep asking and you’ll get the cookie!
Best in business!
Do you keep asking but get no response? How would you like to work with a responsive and helpful team? How would you like to get all the cookies you ever could dream about? Schedule some time in my calendar and see how it’s done!