Limiting Beliefs: What you already have is making you fail!

Drew-Berman-and-Paul-FinckThis guest post – Limiting Beliefs:  What you already have is making you fail! – is from my good friend, Paul Finck!  Check it out…
Courtesy Warning: This post is not only long, it’s also Touchy-Feelie.
Be on any marketers email list long enough, and it’s almost assured you’ll eventually get one of these kinds of emails:
“The #1 Mistake that’s holding you back…”
Sometimes it’s lack of Leads
Sometimes it’s lack of Conversions
Sometimes it’s lack of Copy Writing Skills
Sometimes it’s lack of Technology
Sometimes it’s lack of Knowledge
I’d like to submit to you that the reason Entrepreneurs fail is not always because of what they LACK.
It’s often because of what they ALREADY HAVE.
LB + Fe + Fr + E(P)P = 0
In over a decade of working on my own stuff while also working with thousands of other entrepreneurs, it’s almost haunting how often smart people are ruled by this Equation.
LB = Limiting Beliefs
Fe = Fear
Fr = Friction
E(P)P = External (peer) pressure
= 0 (That’s ZERO)
Let us examine these variables – see how many influence your daily…
Limiting Beliefs – LB:
What are they:  Limiting Beliefs (LBs) are filters of your reality.  They exist because we form them to simplify our lives.
What do they do: Limiting Beliefs allow us to make sense of complex and especially disappointing  situations.
Examples:
Life is [Blank]
I can’t do this because [Blank]
I can’t succeed until I have [Blank]
All men/woman are [Blank]
[Blank]
is just the way things are.
Where do Limiting Beliefs come from? They are learned from interactions in our past. We can identify with them.  We agree with them.  We are afraid to argue with them because we are arguing with ourselves.
Example:

  • Did you ever hear your parents say “Money doesn’t grow on Trees!“?
  • Or, did you ever watch them struggle with finances…?
  • Do you decide on a price for your product, and lower it the moment you create your order page because you don’t feel like the market will pay that price…from YOU?
  • Is your life full of last-minute “practical” decisions to NOT do something?

After we define the next few variables, I’ll tell you how to get rid of your LB’s.
FEAR – Fe
What is it: Emotional distress.
What does it do?  Fear causes Intellectual Paralysis.  Fear prevents you from engaging your problem-solving intellect and applying your related skills and experiences to just about any new situation.
Where do they come from?  Most fears come from considering new perspectives where you feel that you have incomplete information on how to deal with a new or unfamiliar situation.
Examples:

  • Am I targeting the right keyword in my advertising? Should I do some more research? How much will be enough to be sure?
  • Is my headline going to convert? Should I rewrite it? How will I know when it’s right?
  • Is this the right product to be creating or selling?  What if it doesn’t sell?  How can I find out before I start trying?

My Take:
I think entrepreneurs two most paralyzing fears are:
You have to innovate to be successful.” (And they do NOT think they can be innovative.  HINT: You do NOT have to innovate anything to be successful…)
-AND-
What others do to succeed will not (for some inexplicable reason) work for me“. (BTW: Notice how LB’s are often the root source of your FEARS)
Again, I’ll tell you how to get rid of those two fears after we finish defining the rest of the variables.
FRICTION-Fr
What is it: A negative evaluation of environmental variables that you think will retard progress.
What does it do? Friction makes any action you undertake more difficult than it should be.
Where does it come from? Over-analysis of or Over-Importance given to a decision or process. Also, thinking that you have to do everything yourself in order for it to be meaningful.
Examples:

  • You’d rather spend 8 hours learning how to install WordPress, plus a few weeks figuring out how to customize a Theme instead of paying an expert $200 to do both.  Because you think you’ll need blog installation and customization skills to be a REAL online marketer.
  • You’d rather be absolutely certain that your landing page has the absolute best headline and offer before you start running traffic to it, instead of learning how to A/B split test a few versions because you think learning A/B split testing software and spending some money to be TEST takes too much effort.  Because you think you should be able to create a landing page that always works, ALL the time.
  • It’s hard to get Search Engine Backlinks, so you’re going to spend your time measuring keyword density, adding alt-text, and H1, H2, and H3 tags to your body copy, and study other competitors On-Page Optimization.  Because that’s easy.  Even though you know that On-Page SEO is not really that important – it’s really about Links, Engagement, and Authority. But On-Page has GOT to be worth my time, right?

My Take:
I think Entrepreneurs feel that they will somehow reach their OWN idea of a perfect solution if they are present or in 100% control to every part of the process.
Good LORD!  That creates SO much pressure!  If you think that you’ve got to be HANDS-ON for every aspect of your business, because you think that’s the only way to get it right, that means that you have to be GREAT (Or even PERFECT) at everything.
NOT…GONNA…HAPPEN.
And it doesn’t NEED to.  In fact, I will submit to you that there will ALWAYS be someone that’s better than you at one aspect of your business – whether it’s traffic-getting, conversion testing, copy, design, blogging, customer service, bookkeeping, research – whatever.
I know this is true.  And I have a very measured value of my time – and the minute that measurement says to me “This is good enough for now”, or “I can get it better by getting it from somewhere else”, I end the decision making process and start the deployment process.
For 18 months, I had the STOCK Blog theme, with the STOCK Image at paulfinck.com.  It was GOOD ENOUGH.
When I wanted to make a better looking blog, I paid $300 for a new theme and to have my website updated.  And while that was happening, I was creating a new joint venture which has created hundreds of thousands of dollars over the last 5 years.
$300 getting something done better than I could do vs. $100,000+ doing something that I know would get measurable (I.e Count Da Money) results.
NO.  You will NOT always be able to afford a frictionless solution.  But you can ALWAYS improve a solution (LATER) that is GOOD ENOUGH for now – because GOOD ENOUGH for now will get you 90% of your results.
Let me just say that again:
GOOD ENOUGH for now will get you 90% of your results.
External (Peer) Pressure – E(P)P
What is it:  The consideration of how those immediately around you (Friends, Family, etc.) will react to what you do.
What does it do? Allows other’s (usually uninformed or lightly considered) OPINIONS to corrupt our own values about what we are spending our time, effort, and money on.
Where does it come from? Our innate and sometimes learned desire to BELONG and be accepted by everyone else.
My Take:
This is a CONSUMER trait.  What I mean is, when a consumer is deciding whether or not to make a purchase, they place no small amount of their decision-making on what others will think when they show up with their new purchase.
What will their co workers say about their new car, or new jacket.  What will their spouse or domestic partner say about the new art, sofa or Flat Screen?  What will their friends say about the restaurant you picked for dinner, or about the movie you rented, or about the vacation you went on.
CONSUMER BEHAVIOR – it influences BUYING decisions.
You, on the other hand (in this situation) are a BUSINESS OWNER.
You’re the SELLER.
By your very nature, you’re a risk-taker.  You’ve decided to live life on your own terms, in a less than an ordinary capacity.
You will be mocked.  You will be shunned.  You will be criticized.  You will be misunderstood….
…MOSTLY by people that are living paycheck to paycheck, dreading every minute they spend working for someone else.
Let me ask you a question:  WHY do you let a friend, coworker, or family member who has NEVER started, run, or grown their own business give you any advice or guff about YOURS?
If you’re related to or hang out with someone who HAS DONE IT SUCCESSFULLY, they GET IT. And they might be worth listening to especially because they’ll NEVER grief on you – because they’ve been through it themselves.
SOLVING this Equation!
This all falls into the category of Mindset.  And sadly, most tend to think that their fortunes will be delivered to them when they have cracked the entreprenuer code, or mastered the art of marketing, or tripped into the funding to do this full-time.
First – before you can be ready to do ANY of that – you have to prepare your mind to do what will ultimately be the most demanding, most challenging, but possibly the most rewarding experience of your life – the experience of CALLING your own SHOTS.  The experience of WRITING your OWN TICKET.
To do those things – to have what you want, you need a mindset that lets YOU define your own reality.
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs:
Step – 1: You have to identify your Limiting Beliefs.
What are you insecure about?  What is the worst scenario that could possibly happen if you set out to do something, but fail? Write them down, say them aloud.
Then ask yourself – WHAT PROOF do you have that any of those things are true?
That’s right – almost ALL limiting beliefs come from you brain, not real-world experiences.
Check out this very elegant statement from D.H. Lawrence:
“The mind can assert anything and PRETEND it has proved it”
Meaning, most of the time, what you believe to be the worst case scenario has NEVER ACTUALLY HAPPENED to you.  Especially when you consider that you want to start, grow, and run your own business – and that you’ve never done that before.
Step 2Know THIS to be absolutely TRUE:
The reason you have beliefs at all is because they serve some sort of purpose in your life.
Now, ask yourself this question:  Does this belief that is limiting me serve any positive purpose in my life?
Step 3 – Give yourself permission to do WHATEVER you want with ANY of the beliefs you have – including playing opposite day with them.
Meaning, if one of your beliefs is “I won’t be able to be successful at business because it requires too much time and knowledge” (BTW, how do you know that unless you’ve been successful…?  Hmmm?)…
…then play opposite day with it – “I will be successful at business because I very much value my limited time and I’m going to make every single minute working on my business count 10 times more than normal time
Check this out…
…You are a child of freewill.  What has come before you, the path that others have followed, and all the beliefs that others have championed – they belong to THEM or THEN.
Your beliefs are defined very simply and very elegantly by what you WANT.  Believe in WHAT YOU WANT.
What’s stopping you is just a THING.  Put it in a box, call it what it is (A stupid thing in a box), put the box in a place you don’t have to look at it – and move to the next item on your to do list.
Overcoming FEAR:
Step 1Repeat after me:  ”Innovation Sucks”.
Step 2Know THIS to be absolutely TRUE:
95% of everything you need to do in order for your business to be successful has already been figured out, documented, process-mapped, and published somewhere that you can have, buy, or model.
You do NOT need to Innovate ANYTHING to achieve results.
What you need to know, understand, and in some cases even DO has already been discovered, innovated, or revealed by someone on the bleeding edge.  They’ve already made the mistakes for you.
The problem is, you think your needs are special – that you’re a “unique and beautiful snowflake” (Fight Club™).
Yes, as a person, you are truly unique and special.
As a business owner – you have almost exactly the same needs as other business owners, and there is a vast and mature market of goods, products, information, and services in all forms of media and price points from free to HOLY GOD THAT’S EXPENSIVE that will satisfy those needs.
You might know that I just finished a survey of my entire list.  Based on that data, here’s what I have to say to the people that have reported “I have spent all kinds of money on courses and products and am no closer now to being successful than I was when I started to buy them”.
According to the data, they are no closer to success because all they do is BUY courses – they don’t EXECUTE on anything – period.  Most of them don’t have a SINGLE web page, add to cart button, or link to an affiliate offer ANYWHERE.
The choice is very simple.  Do you want to know it all, or do you want the money?
USE OTHER PEOPLES INFORMATION, then…
GET TO WORK.
I can barely spell.  But I can and do CRANK IT OUT on a DAILY.
What do YOU do on a DAILY?
GET TO WORK.
Overcoming Friction:
56 men risked their lives by signing the Declaration of Independence. At the time, it was an act of TREASON.
But it had to be done in order for their country to achieve independence.
In the grand scheme of things I do daily, none of those things even comes CLOSE to presenting that kind of consequence (Treason) – ever.
That puts it into perspective, doesn’t it?
Stressing over a decision?  A logo design?  A Headline?  What product to create?  What market to dive into?
Step 1Do what Thomas Jefferson would do.
“Always take hold of things by the smooth handle. ”
The smooth handle is always the decision that gets IT DONE.  Not perfectly, not without flaw or error – but ready to be used, tested, and improved.
You don’t even need to be in the same league as perfect, because, as ole Thomas Jefferson will further point out…
“Never trust a man who won’t accept that there is more than one way to spell a word”
or more than one way to get results.  Because as TJ often liked to say…
“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”
…so what if that something you’ve never done was only doing it enough so you could see how to improve it?
You learn by doing.  You get better with practice.
Practice DOING.
Overcoming External and Peer Pressure:
Steve Jobs was known for occasionally answering emails randomly sent to his Apple email address.
When an email from a critic harshly condemned Apple for “imposing morality, about porn…” (The critic later admitted that he was TWD – Typing While Drunk), Mr. Jobs responded with the following:
“By the way, what have you done that’s so great? Do you…just criticize others work and belittle their motivations?”
I could leave it there and be pretty happy with you having just THAT perspective.
Success attracts all kinds of judgments and emotions.
Your job is to stand like a ROCK for what you have elected to do to better yourself.  It’s YOUR life – no one else’s – and as a citizen of the human race, you have earned the right to spend your time, effort, and yes, even MONEY how ever the damn well you please.  “We hold these truths to be self-evident…” and all that.
Because do you know what will happen if you don’t take a chance?
Nothing.
In the matter of all critics – be a Honey Badger.
Step 3 of Your Life’s Journey is the Key to Everything
There have been 3 turning points in my journey as an Entrepreneur:
1 – Discovering that I want to be an Entrepreneur.
Like most, the initial desire to start a business stems from wanting things that I didn’t have.  And my initial goals were typical – almost universal – Have more time, have more money, have more freedom.
2 – Realizing the Actual Reasons I want to be an Entrepreneur.
After getting some money but at the sacrifice of time, I realized that my definition of Freedom had been murky from the start.  Having Freedom wasn’t about being free from responsibilities, or being exempt from external control.
Freedom is about having the power to determine action without restraint.
“Without Restraint”
In other words – No Fear.
Step 3 of Your Life’s Journey– Applying the Actual Reasons I want to be an Entrepreneur to my daily activity.
Today, I will do what I am passionate about doing.  I will execute actions that move me closer to my aspirations.
I will conduct my activities with an audacious spirit and grateful acknowledgement.
And in every moment, I will have No Fear.
THAT is Freedom.
When you are ready to learn more about creating this freedom in your life now rather than later, click here to reserve your seat for my upcoming event.
During this 3 days I will show you the way to create the mindset needed to be a successful entrepreneur.
Make sure to join me now since everything you want now is in a place you have never been.
Let me show you how to get there quickly.
All the Power to You!
Paul Finck
P.S. Do you really want to skip out on getting your beliefs in line to create your success?  Reverse your Limiting Beliefs!  Grab your tickets while they last!  There are only a limited number of seats since this is my final Mindset Mastery Experience EVER!!!  Reserve your seat here before they are gone!

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Comments

  • Sam Kern January 13, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    Great work here Drew! I love all of the emotion you draw out.

    Reply
  • Ron Deering January 14, 2016 at 11:17 am

    What a great post Drew… you sure nailed this .. love the formula… this is one everyone should read… thanks for sharing this

    Reply
  • Maria Rybka January 14, 2016 at 12:50 pm

    Wow! This post is a lot of great information to think about. I think my limiting beliefs (although I don’t think I have them) is what slows me down on some days! Thanks Drew for sharing your insight on how to overcome!

    Reply
    • Drew February 3, 2016 at 4:29 pm

      thanks Maria … let’s all focusing on expanding our beliefs.. not limiting them – thanks for stopping by

      Reply
  • Jelena Ostrovska January 14, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    Fantastic post Drew!! I can totally relate to one of points about inventing something new. Don’t ever try to re-invent the wheel – model what already works!! Thanks for sharing this formula!

    Reply
  • Adewale Adebusoye January 14, 2016 at 4:43 pm

    You don’t have to innovate to be successful! I agree that everything you need for success has been documented and processed mapped and you just need to buy it or pay an expert! You don’t have to be a master of all! Thanks for sharing Drew!

    Reply
  • Maikel Michiels January 14, 2016 at 10:15 pm

    Amazing Post Drew! For me, the fear of what other might think of me was a big issue with getting started and taking action. I can’t say I’m 100% over it, but I’ve gotten way better with my mindset and kicking fears to the curb.

    Reply
    • Drew February 3, 2016 at 4:28 pm

      thanks Maikel… i love how you worked on your mindset – that is the key isn’t it!

      Reply
  • Edna Keep January 15, 2016 at 12:49 am

    Loved this post! Very interesting and inspiring! I really enjoyed the use of this quote: “The mind can assert anything and PRETEND it has proved it”. So interestingly true.

    Reply
    • Drew February 3, 2016 at 4:27 pm

      wow Edna – thanks, coming from you that means a lot…

      Reply
  • Trudy Beerman January 15, 2016 at 5:48 am

    Here is a BOSS quotable right here: “Your job is to stand like a ROCK for what you have elected to do to better yourself.”
    Love it.

    Reply