Making Excuses – Are my thoughts also my actions?

Dr. Wayne Dyer, author of the famous book “Excuses Begone!”, is quoted as a saying “Excuses are the explanations we use for hanging on to behaviors we don’t like about ourselves; they are self-defeating behaviors we don’t know how to change.” – September 2009, Natural/AwakeningsMag.com.
What is he talking about? We all know, somewhere inside of our minds – that little voice. Here is how that happens.
“I think that I can do this thing. I know that I can do this thing. I can see the steps it will take to make this thing happen. I can break down these steps into actions that I believe I can do and by doing them I know that I can make this thing happen.” So, am I doing them? That is where my thoughts and my actions may not always be the same thing. It is pretty easy for me to see what actions I need to take to make this thing happen, but I have to admit that these actions may appear daunting when it comes to making the motions and I am a master at making excuses, even if I don’t realize it.
What am I talking about?
How about calling my neighbor? I talk to them often, but why can’t I just call them to ask them a few questions about their lives to see if there is an opportunity for improving their lives? It is an action step that I need to take if I am going to follow my plan, but there seems to be a wall between me and the phone – a wall of excuses. I don’t actually see it there, but I certainly find all of the ‘other things’ that I have to do before I can make that call and that’s my wall. Things like telling myself that “they won’t be home right now, so I will have to call later”, which never seems to come. Things like telling myself that “I don’t know the words that I need to use to talk to them, so I will have to wait until I get better at it”. Oh yeah, by talking to whom? Things like “I don’t want to approach my friends and neighbors like a salesman, so I better wait until I know how to just be a friend talking to them about something that I know is great, but in truth I am trying to sell to them”. Things like “I will talk to them next time that I run into them, when the timing is right”. Do I hear this voice inside of me? Sure, that’s that one that is explaining to me how these things are very important to consider before taking action. Hey, they are more important than just about everything else, right? Probably more important than watching my business grow? Definitely! That’s why I know that I can do this thing, but, maybe after I have taken care of a few other things first. Right? Sounds to me like I am making excuses.
Dr. Dyer goes on to say “Usually, making excuses is just something we can get away with, rather than challenging or changing ourselves. If you want to change and you want your life to work at a level you’ve never had before, then take responsibility for it.”
How hard is it to make that call? How hard is it to start a conversation with your neighbor, your doctor, your favorite store owner, your favorite restaurant owner? Very! Until, of course, you do it. Hey, then it isn’t hard at all. Hey, then it is easy. Hey, I just remembered, these are my friends and some of my favorite people. I would love to see them more healthy, more wealthy, and free to do the things that they would really love to do. Hey, I do know how to talk to them, because I love to talk to them. So why is this any different? It’s not! It is just another awesome thing to talk about. If they want to know more, they will ask for more. Do I trust them to talk to me? Yes! Then they trust me to talk to them, so there is nothing that I can say or do to discourage them from my trust and friendship if I treat them with respect and love, like I always do. I am not trying to sell them anything, I am giving them an opportunity for which they will thank me for and go on their way, or to thank me for giving them to take them to a new place in their lives. They can’t decide that if I don’t offer it.
So, I can see the actions that I need to take, because I tell myself about them all of the time. That little voice inside my head is me making excuses… and the one who is actually doing something? …Hey, that’s me too.
“I believe if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer.
From the office of Drew Berman, contributed by
Seth Lefferts.


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